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| Chauvet Cave, Southwest France. It is thought that thhese drawings represent a creation taleand were part of a shamanic initiation. |
With these words we step into the larger life of the imagination, where what seem to be miracles in ordinary reaity are everyday occurrences in this greater, truer reality. I call it The Story Zone.
I tend to be claustrophic, and I avoid situations that might trigger feelings of being trapped. So you can imagine how challenging lockdown since the beginning of March has been for me. Like you perhaps, I've been through the gamut of emotions, including waves of fear, followed by focused breathing and free-writing that has induced calm, only to be overtaken by despair, and then again, creative and spiritual practices to center myself.
About two weeks in, I had a panic attack at having no way out, unless I wanted to venture into a dangerous world where the virus circulated freely, invisibly, possibly fatally. No way out and no end date. (Even as I write these words, I can feel rumbles of anxiety!)
Now that the world is opening up again, that same conflict looms between staying safe in what often feels like a prison and risking my health (I'm in a vulnerable group) out in the world. To get to my usual places of work, I have to take the subway, which has been determined to be the main channel of transmission in my city. I'm not ready to chance it!
When I feel stuck and without words to express the feelings that are paralyzing me, I go to storyboards -- scribbled cartoons that capture my situation in a lighthearted way.
In early March, the first case of Covid-19 had shown up in New York City. It was a woman who had just returned from Iran. From that one unsuspecting woman, the virus exploded in my city. At the same time, my income and financial security was tanking. To save myself financially, I felt, I had to get "out there." That meant taking the subway. I was frozen.
In my time of fear, I quickly sketched this storyboard. It contains my several "selves" -- the fearful me as well as my higher intuitive and imaginative self, along with the scary context I was trying to navigate.
Playfulness was the key to calm! The lightheartedness, and even the laughter I felt on compassionately drawing this bewildered, frightened woman helped me transcend my immediate situation and I was able to come to a place of trust again. Trust not that I had an answer. Trust that there was an All is Well reality embracing all of epochal event, of which I was an infinitesimal part.
Feeling just a bit better, I remembered Story. Specifically, the "five elements" of story: Time, Setting and Mood; Character; Situation; and Plot. I looked around at my small room, which was sometimes sanctuary and at others a prison
"What does this feel like?" I asked myelf.
A cave.
Traditionally, caves are archetypal places of initiation. I could now view my situation as an initiatory experience. I was about to be transformed, if I would allow the process to unfold naturally. I began to write....
The scribbles on my page held the energy of ancient creation tales drawn on the rock walls of a cave 36,000 years ago by forever unknown artists, as in the photograph of Chauvet Cave above.
As I wrote, I recreated my reality. In a moment of transformative insight, I realized that something unknown yet expansive could happen for me in this physical and emotional space.
The result? Life opened again. And now I was ready for it. Over and over I have done this simple drawing and writing practice to sustain myself during the time of Covid.
The lockdown continues. But so do I. And not just continue. As I play with my circumstances on the page, I rise up and out from the ashes of this devastated world and I create a new and healthier world in my imagination, on the page, and soon in outside life as well.
So can you.
If you would like to schedule private storymaking sessions with me to transform your reality from the inside out, I'm offering a 3-session online package for $300 total. You can find a description of how to work with me on my trusty old website: julietbruce.com, click on Ways to Work with Me. Times are tough, and if you really want to do this, but can't swing the fee right now, let me know and we'll try to work something out that is mutually beneficial. I too have to generate income to pay my expenses. Contact me here or via my website to set up a complimentary half hour exploratory session.
